Friends of the Children - New York | How It Works

Our model is distinct, courageous and proven. We have redefined the youth mentoring field by creating the first and only long-term professional mentoring program in the country. Our Friends are experts in building sustained and nurturing relationships with youth. We specialize in working with youth who have faced a lot of adversity. We have the data to show that it's real and it works.

Our model was founded on research showing that the single most important factor in overcoming childhood adversity is a long-term, nurturing relationship with a consistent and caring adult. Research over the past three decades continues to affirm how much these relationships matter.

Our trauma-informed, long-term mentoring model is now being sought after by communities and systems around the country and the world. They recognize that children who've experienced a lot of adversity need more specialized and long-term mentoring relationships that Friends of the Children–New York provides.

The Generational Change Model

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We select children who could most benefit from a relationship with a long-term professional mentor.

Like all children, the youth we serve have unique talents, varied interests and big dreams. Unlike other programs, we exclusively focus on children who are also facing systemic obstacles and who have lived through a lot of trauma. Our youth have experienced multiple adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) by the time they reach kindergarten. We partner with community organizations, schools and foster care systems to help us identify children ages 4 to 6 who could most benefit from a relationship with a Friend.

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We hire and train full-time paid professional mentors called Friends.

Our Friends' full-time job is to empower and support youth and their caregivers. Moving mentorship out of the volunteer realm is key to getting the quality, consistency and commitment our children and their families deserve in the relationship. Each Friend works with eight to ten youth, spending three to four hours every week with or on behalf of each child.

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We commit for the long term.

We commit to every child for the long term, from kindergarten through graduation. 12+ years, no matter what.

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Our work is relationship-based, individualized and intentional.

Each child gets a dedicated, one-on-one Friend who spends a minimum of 14 to 16 intentional hours per month with them. Friends and youth set goals and design activities that advance those goals and build life skills. Friends create meaningful experiences to explore each child's unique talents and interests. Friends of the Children has developed nine research-based Core Assets, which are specific qualities we focus on to ensure the social and emotional development of our youth.

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We work with youth in school, at home and in the community.

We take a whole-child approach because we understand that lived experiences, home environment, systems, community and culture shape how a child develops and learns. Friends serve as a link between the different areas of a child's life to create stability and consistency – spending time in school as an advocate and support; time in their neighborhood to build connection and community; and time at home, becoming a trusted resource to the youth and their caregivers.

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We evaluate, measure and improve.

We are equal parts head and heart. Data from Friends, youth and caregivers help us continuously improve and do our best day-to-day work. Ongoing third-party research and evaluation drive program improvement and innovation. Right now, our model is the focus of an ongoing longitudinal randomized-controlled trial–the longest of its kind–run by researchers from the University of Washington and New York University.

Core Assets

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Friends of the Children has developed nine research-based Core Assets, which are specific qualities we focus on to ensure the social and emotional development of our youth. With our nine Core Assets in place, we believe our youth will enter adulthood with a solid foundation for future success. Following are the core assets we believe will help our youth achieve that.

Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset

I love learning and know that my abilities will improve through dedication and effort.
We believe our knowledge and competence in all areas of life grow with effort and that our work has personal value.

Positive Relationship Building

Positive Relationships Building

I get along well with others and am able to find people to support me.
We have the ability to communicate effectively and discern how to engage and collaborate in healthy, supportive relationships for diverse purposes in all areas of our lives.

Find Your Spark

Find Your Spark

I use creativity to explore my passions.
We use our imagination, curiosity and creativity to generate ideas and discover our strengths and passions.

Problem Solving

Problem Solving

I know how to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision.
We self-reflect and breakdown problems or issues into manageable parts, determining different strategies to achieve a solution and make a decision.

Self Determination


I believe in myself and am able to set goals and achieve them.
We are committed to achieving our goals over time, by setting short and long-term goals and managing challenges.

Self Management

Self Management

I know how to manage my feelings and take care of myself in a healthy way.
We are able to identify, reflect on and manage our emotions; we are committed to continual self-care.

Perseverance Grit


I work hard through challenges and finish what I start.
We can persist to the best of our ability despite distractions, obstacles or setbacks.



When I have tough times, I believe it can get better.
We understand difficulties within a situation and believe it will improve.



I understand who I am, have a place where I feel accepted and know that my contributions count.
We value our own identity, culture and beliefs, knowing that our community needs and appreciates our participation.

A Friend in Action

We call our professional mentors Friends because it isn't just a job. They are forming meaningful relationships with our youth that last for years.

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Friends support and empower youth by:

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Friends support and empower parents/caregivers by:

Read Stories About Our Achievers

It Works

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92% of youth go on to enroll in post-secondary education, serve our country or enter the workforce.

Long Term Outcome Graduation

91% of our youth receive their high school diploma or GED.

Long Term Outcome Justice

95% of our youth remain free from involvement in the juvenile justice system.

Long Term Outcome Parenting

94% of our youth wait to parent until after their teen years.